I was never the girl interested in dating, nor did I have a boy-crazy era, a party-era, or always have a boyfriend. In fact, it was always quite the opposite. I was hyper independent with no interest in dating and steered far away from men. I was constantly told growing up that boys were trouble which I chuckle writing as I now have grown a new appreciation for Taylor Swift that I cherish as relationships are amazing teachers. I also have grown a new appreciation for the beauty of love and have been healing beliefs installed in me at a young age to "not "need" anyone" or to feel shame around seeking deep connections as these were another's fears projected on to me. There is nothing wrong with seeking deep connections with others. We are all one and we are all in our purest forms, love, as that is what we were put on this planet for prior to society's conditioning causing other influences. Note, you may never love anyone the same and you're not supposed to. As you grow, your love will change, and it'll require you to choose someone who can appreciate it and can meet you at the same level as you evolve higher and higher.
Relationships and their journeys are amazing opportunities for us to grow and self-reflect. To empaths, it is so easy to wonder what you could have done differently in relationships that don't work out, especially when you are someone who pours your all into things you care about. Empaths have a tendency to give more than they receive which makes heartbreak all the more painful. If you have gone through heartbreak you know the aching pain it leaves and you know this feeling. Remember that the love you give to people never goes to waste as it is a reflection of your beauty and heart and remains independent of the other person and their actions.
Dating in this day and age (and at 21 as an old soul) is truly not easy. There are so many unhealed people who become dangerous when they avoid themselves as do those who pursue such relationships and mindlessly cause this toxic cycle to continue. In my experience thus far, seeking true depth and honesty from people in such a digital world definitely has its difficulties. Quite a few people I have gone on dates with I have eventually ignited fear in as the depth I create through my embrace of my feminine nature and its power and emotions forces the other to meet me at the same level requiring them to dig deep and look within. Wild women choose depth, choose someone to challenge them, challenge others to step up, seek growth, shatter the ego, and honor their boundaries. You could call it high standards but in reality it is a women embracing her true nature and seeking another that is compatible with her strength. Shallow conversations, one night stands, and short-term flings are not my cup of tea and in my opinion are an insult to the soul's true nature as our energy is sacred. Although, this truth may be underneath thick layers of society conditioning, everyone has a yearning for deep connections and meaningful relationships as it is what the soul, our true nature, resonates with.
Caring is strength, loving is strength, being empathetic is strength, honoring your boundaries is strength, and kindness is strength. Some people run from such realness as it forces them to look at themselves while others will embrace this realness and choose growth. The saying, "another can only open up to you as much as they have faced themselves" is spot on. A women in her true feminine is a force to be reckoned with and will make you look in the mirror and challenge you to step up. To any women who resonates with this, you are never too much. Anyone who fears your power has not chosen to grow but to cower.
What I fear the most in life is regret. I'd rather give my all to my commitments and passions in life then regret not doing so and wondering what could have been. Ask yourself next time you are fearful in any path in life... is it really worth living in fear and risking the regret of possibly missing out on a life-changing experience? Take calculated risks.
Never settle. Just as you should build a career that ignites a deep passion in you...choose someone who embraces your depth, challenges you, appreciates the power of a woman working to embrace her wholeness, and seeks authentic connection. Always remember that being with yourself is better than being with someone else in a state of lack.
In one of my past experiences, although I mindfully knew this truth, I had to truly experience it in order to embrace it... you cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped. No matter how hard you try to get them to see their beauty, it is up to them to find the love within themselves. Love comes from within- it is not to be sought after in another. You cannot pour out of an empty cup indefinitely. Relationships are a give and take and sometimes one person may lean on the other's strength but it is a two-way street that requires intentional effort, felt gratitude, and deep appreciation. Thus, empaths, no matter how much you want to try to help another in a tough spot you cannot do anything for them if they refuse to change other than showing them love, kindness and leaving for your own good.. in other words, for the love and respect you have for yourself. A huge issue with toxic relationships is that people often enable each other. Thus, if one person is exhibiting toxic behavior and the other puts up with it, no one is ever going to change and grow- it's essentially a lose-lose relationship.
Thus, empaths, sometimes the best thing you can do for someone who needs to heal is to leave them and let them heal. If you stay and enable their behavior when they show no signs of wanting to change, you are not doing yourself or them any good. In this case you need healing as well (if change is not occurring) as your choice to enable their behavior points towards things you need to work on and heal within yourself. Why would you stay in a one-sided relationship? Good intentions do not always have good impacts if done in a state of lack or bias/ego. Lastly, the presence and consistency of one's actions show true character... never words. Love is an action. When you leave a relationship upon giving it your all to know avail, you do it for you and remember in doing so you also help the other to break so many of the toxic cycles occurring today. Inspire others to grow, to look within, to choose healing, and to dig deep and when those fearfully run from you... open the door and send them your best.
To all the wild women out there, I see you, I love you, and you inspire me. Stay wild moon child and keep embracing your true nature, honoring your boundaries, inspiring others, and spreading your deep power of love from within.
"Be in love, and welcome others to meet your there." - @sarahzula
Goddess: "a being willing to fully look at and own their darkness - turning it into radiance. to be in union with the formed and formless." - @positivepringle
"Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength." - Sigmund Freud
"If you're searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror."
"To me, love is growing together while we grow individually, not growing apart while we grow individually. Not having to choose between you or me, choosing both of us. Prioritizing both of us at the same time. Pouring into me so I can pour more into you." - Amanda Perera
"I crave a love so deep the ocean would be jealous."
"My love is unconditional, but your presence in my life is not. The moment that you prove that your value of me does not measure up to my sense of self-worth, I'll have no problem unconditionally loving the memory of you from afar."
"I am really gentle and I am really sweet and if you f**k with me I'll really mop the floor with you." -Cher
"Your scars may be remnants of old wounds, but they are achingly beautiful for they speak the truth of your humanness, and tell stories of your blistering courage to dance inside wildfires, then rise from the ashes to overcome." -Caroline Miskenadk
"Fear can keep you safe and at the same time kill off parts of you that are most alive." -JMStorm